I made waffles for the first time this morning. Though I cook, waffles have always intimidated me. I think because of the equipment. Either waffle irons are archaic pieces of heavy heat-conducting metal or they're dopey plug-in impulse buys at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I hadn't put it together that waffle batter was just pancake batter with vegetable oil and a little more egg. It just felt like trouble to me. Anyway, this morning I busted out a waffle maker of the analog variety, the kind you just put on the burner, and made waffles.
The waffles came out really well. It turns out they're easy to make and they don't gunk up the waffle iron if you spray a bunch of canola oil on it.
My mother-in-law, who constantly complains about how fat she is but
(A) isn't
and
(B) eats sweets relentlessly
said she would like a waffle when I offered her one. When I put it on a little plate and gave it to her, she said "do you expect me to eat standing up?"
I told her to sit down at the kitchen table. The kitchen table is often piled with shit. I think today there was: a New York Times, a New York Magazine, some mail, a wrap gift my wife got the director and producer of her play, a basket of baby toys, baby bibs, baby socks, high chair trays, some napkins, a changing bag.
My mother-in-law remarked "wow, this table is getting cluttered." Believe me, the way she said it was like was "you guys sure are a bunch of assholes for cluttering up a table I never use with stuff that will get cleared out in an hour anyway." I asked her if there was anything else.,
Mina and I then sat at the table on either side of her. She has been sick, and remarked on being sick. She did not cast being sick in a favorable light. Then she spoke of her sciatica and other aches and pains. These, combined with her depression, had conspired to make her unhappy. She also lamented that she was fat. Mostly, this conversation was entirely one-sided.
BOTTOM LINE: Are you kidding me?
No comments:
Post a Comment